Laughter is the best medicine!
As a nurse I find these so funny...a friend emailed them to me, so I thought I would share them!
The following are comments from doctors as recorded on patient charts.
"Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year."
"On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely."
"The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993."
"The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed."
"Discharge status: Alive but without permission."
"Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful."
"The patient refuled an autopsy." ~~Hmmmmm~~
"Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital."
"Patient's past medical history has been remarkable insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days."
"Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch."
"She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night." ~~Well then~~
"She is numb from her toes down."
"While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home."
"The sking was moist and dry."
"Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches."
"Patient was alert and unresponsive."
"She stated that she ahd been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce."
"I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy."
"The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead."
"Patient has two tennage children but no other abnormalities."
"Skin: Somewhat pale but present."
"Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen, and I agree."
OK, all I can say is I hope they have good malpractice insurance and a good attorney (and maybe a spot on Leno!) :-)
OK, maybe my insomnia will be cured now....off to bed. Wish me luck.
The following are comments from doctors as recorded on patient charts.
"Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year."
"On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely."
"The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993."
"The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed."
"Discharge status: Alive but without permission."
"Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful."
"The patient refuled an autopsy." ~~Hmmmmm~~
"Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital."
"Patient's past medical history has been remarkable insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days."
"Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch."
"She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night." ~~Well then~~
"She is numb from her toes down."
"While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home."
"The sking was moist and dry."
"Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches."
"Patient was alert and unresponsive."
"She stated that she ahd been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce."
"I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy."
"The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead."
"Patient has two tennage children but no other abnormalities."
"Skin: Somewhat pale but present."
"Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen, and I agree."
OK, all I can say is I hope they have good malpractice insurance and a good attorney (and maybe a spot on Leno!) :-)
OK, maybe my insomnia will be cured now....off to bed. Wish me luck.
posted by MommyOutOfControl at 3/22/2006
3 Comments:
Thanks so much for commenting!!! :)
Those comments cracked me up. I love the one where the husband said his wife was hot in bed. Love it.
Hi-I came across your blog by way of Jody Ferlaak's. I have a nursing degree (but am not working as a nurse)so reading all these notations from pt.'s charts brought back a lot of memories! I also like the one about the wife being hot in bed. I always got a chuckle of documenting that a patient was SOB. ;)
Hilarious Jamie! I died laughing, cried and almost peed my pants. I had to get up and run to the bathroom. I couldn't get out the one about the 69 y.o. male. Crazy
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